6.26.2010

I could cry from how much I love you

soul mate- n. One of two persons compatible with each other in disposition, point of view, or sensitivity. a person with whom one has a strong affinity. Biology. the phylogenetic relationship between two organisms or groups of organisms resulting in a resemblance in general plan or structure, or in the essential structural parts. Chemistry. the force by which atoms are held together in chemical compounds.

I only knew what affinity meant from my biology classes, so I looked up and definition and decided to include the bio/chem version because we all know how much I love science and everything it stands for. Especially in this circumstance..
There are some things that I know will be a part of my life and somethings I get the feeling that wont. I never put to much thought into this until a friend of mine told me he gets the feeling that he won't live long, that he can't see his life past age 35. I get that. I don't see myself "settling down" any time soon, not even in the next 10 years, its not that I don't necessarily want that, I just don't see it. One thing I know is that certain people will be in my life for a long time. It's beyond straight up emotions, it's chemical, magical, unexplainable.

I know not a lot of people have experienced this, and I'm not even going to try to describe it. But I will say this... a soul mate is not limited to a boy and girl romantic relationship. I find purpose, truth, contentment, simplicity, beauty, focus when those atoms line up just right. A dose of Canada was just what I needed and always need and will forever have. I love it when life smacks you in the face and says "hey, you're blessed ok? Remember that. Stop being selfish and lead be example. You're better then this, more then this, wiser then this, be better".

My weekend was all about laughing and loving with my soul mates. Sunsets with the view of Vancouver, swimming in green pools of melted snow, acquiring the first summer tan (in Canada?), cheap wine with a hint of board games. Skating, bike riding, guitar playing, church going, gluten free cookie indulging bliss. Thank you America's hat for a good one. We shall play again.


sorry Rena.. I love showing you off: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J4izUWRdrqs

6.21.2010

Sunriver 2010

Amazing weekend, with my amazing friends. A huge group of us rented a house for the weekend to embrace summer and celebrate 23 years of life in honor of Caitlin and Rylee. I'm blessed.

6.14.2010

Forever a college student

Hey, remember when facebook was only for college students, before your grandma could get one and not even community college student could have it, straight up university? I remember being STOKED that I could finally get rid of oh so uncool myspace and have facebook because I WAS A REAL UNIVERSITY STUDENT. I enjoy that I look back to my very first album on facebook being my first year at PSU, and 69 photo albums later I write this blog and realize facebook is the holder of my college experience.. I like that.
I choose PSU because I didn't want the typical state school, Greek life, where your school is your life. I wanted a more liberal school where I could meet people with similar interests to mine, that was in a city, but not like God forsaken So-Cal from where I was coming. I moved to Portland knowing one person, Misty who is ironically still conquering school with me. But now, after 4 years, I have created quite a life for myself. Joining student groups was the first thing I did, and one of the better choices I have made in my life thus far. We would register people to vote, educate people on climate change, go to leadership workshops and when we reached our goal we would get drunk and talk politics. Amazing.
Taking time off to travel was the best thing I could have done for myself for numerous reasons. But in the sense of school, I feel re-energized and decided I'm close to graduating, might as well. So nowwww my plan is to graduate Spring 2011 with a bachelors in social science and minor in photography,also all my nursing school pre-reqs in which I will then head to whatever nursing school wants me the following Fall. When my friends older then me started to graduate, I was like, wow college is coming to an end, then everyone my age graduated and NOW my younger friends and fellow 5 year seniors are graduated. I attended the graduation partys drank the champagne and I felt really old. Although I'm finishing last, I smile at my time at PSU, and the reflection process is in full swing..

Don't get me wrong, I definitely was educating myself on a mass amount of issues, but I was also taking part in the stupidity of a young college student. I lived in the dorms, I did kegs stands, I kissed boys I shouldn't have, I snuck into bars, I got drunk a lot and the result? I swam in fountains, snowboarded down stairs, built beer can towers in front of churches, yelled obscenities, trespassed, obtained un-necessary scars, carried to bed. I'm surprised I didn't die to be honest, one example being our famous yuka tradition in the Dorms at good ol West Hall. After finals every term we filled this FOUR tubs full of yuka which is 4 bottles of coconut vodka, 4 bottles of lime vodka, lemons and limes, ice and four bags of sugar. This event was usually held in my room or Laken's and we charged for anyone who wanted a straw. There was usually around 15 of us and on the count of three we surrounded the tubs, stuck our straw in and drank until it was gone. Stupid? yes. Regret it? not at all.
I write this now, because I realize college for me, is over in the sense of growing up. Generally starting a new level of school and finishing it whether it be middle school, high school or college, is always looked at as a new chapter in life. After that being a career, marriage, having children, etc. Although I won't have the piece of paper stating I put enough sweat and blood into college until next year, I'm absolutely, completely and totally beyond the sense of accomplishment with the past four years on the level of learning, the type you don't get from books.

Misty is one of my really good friends, we've been friends since we were 5! I don't get to see her that much because shes pre-med, but when finals are done we have our typical coffee at the usual spot, Park Cafe. When finals near, I start harassing her and get super excited, its like a sister relationship where I'm the annoying little sister who looks up to the older one and just wants to hang out all the time. haha. This time around of catching up Misty told me something that resulted in this blog. Misty is a mentor at PSU and has a class of freshman. After having those students for a whole year she asked them on the last day "how have you changed since your first day at PSU?" One girls response was "nothing has changed since the length of my hair, I date the same guy, live in the same place, have the same job and I go to the same school". WOW.

College is what you make it, change and growth only happens if you allow it to. Sure I could have stayed in my comfort zone at home and attended the nearest state school and kept my high school friends close but thats not what I wanted. I wanted to live on my own, new people, new city, new life, anything but comfort. It is hard for me to understand those who literally choose to forever stay in that comfort zone. Who don't utilize their time being young and something that offers endless amounts of ideas, knowledge, new people and beer.. haha. It's an incredible feeling working hard towards a GOAL, not just going to school to get the piece of paper, because going to college is what everyone else is doing.

Sacrificing your social life, drinking way to much caffefine, studying HARD, take the exam, rock it and walk out feeling exhausted but the sense of accomplishment is a bit addictive. I study about 30-40 hours a week, hence why I dont have a job. I get good grades and never let anything get in the way of that. I finished my last sequence of Ed's Anatomy and Physiology class, which I can't describe the pain of his class. Getting a B is like getting an A++ in any other class. I managed to be a part of a rad study group this term, its nice to have some moral support in the difficulty for studying for the exams. On Tuesday after our final, Ed even found his way to our campus bar and had a drink with us :)
We celebrated for real on Friday to the end of the term with a much needed night out , I love my science kids. Yes we took a "team photo".. world meet your future health care professionals..

I will be DONE with science after this summer.. finally!

6.11.2010

dailys with mike degrow


these daily's put a lil hop in my step

6.04.2010

gemini

My mom was that mom that threw the RAD themed birthdays. Ballerinas, jungle madness, cowgirls, luau and the infamous slumber party's, mine were kinda legendary. The handful of childhood friends that I do have, to this day pull out the ol "remember that one time at your birthday..". Not to mention I was the first to have a birthday party were we did the oh so scandalous "tping", but little did we know my mom had discussed it before hand with what ever boys house was the victim.
Well I missed those days.. and relived it this past weekend. BBQ, pinata, games,  party hats, bubbles, play-do and beer pong, oo that one doesn't fit. So just a few of my favorite people, low key and gangster status. I'm pretty blessed with the friends I have in Portland andddd all over the world. All of them so different and always interesting when I have a gathering like this because these people of all different backgrounds and interest, only come to together on these events. It makes me laugh that there's always a ton of introduction or "yea i met you at Claire's... last year". A few times a year I can drag my girls, snowboarding homies, my atheist best friend, homofied NYC boy, God's best friend, high school friends, blister loving rock climber, childhood friends, photo snappin nomad and fellow friends who frequent science classes.. allll together. All so different, all so great.

That variety of gifts was amazing. Everyone had gotten me something from a memory and certain thing the know about me, therefore all being so different.  On thought of this blog of birthday, I turn to recognition my wonderfully crazy zodiac sign of gemini. It makes sense that my key traits of being a gemini are change loving, people loving, freebird like tendency to have this variety in my life.

oh and happy belated birhday to RENA MURRAY. Not an accident that we were born one year and one day apart.