10.28.2009

A dream becomes reality

8am:
I lay in bed wanting to sleep more, but anxiety sets in and I'm forced to get up anyway. I throw on some shorts and a t-shirt and head to Ms.Trish's class who is a God send. An early 30's black body builder women, who loves hip hop and watching college students sweat. Her ab's and lower body class is 50 minutes straight of hard cardio and muscle strengthening. I take her classes not only to stay in shape but to calm myself during school.

After Trish's class I run home shower, make coffee, grab some food and head to the library. 10am-3pm I'm able to cover all of chapter 15 "Neural Integration: Sensory Pathways". read, highlight, listen to lectures and then rewrite all the notes, highlight and re-listen to the lecture. 3:20pm my brain can't handle much more, pathways, receptors and tracts are starting to blur together. I grab my standard triple shot skinny vanilla latte and study for another class both I head to Anatomy and Physiology with Good ol Ed Degrauw. A brilliant man whose first love is reptiles, but on the side teaches PSU students about osteoclasts, ganglia and other tedious details of the human body. He has accepted the role of basically decided the future of aspiring students hoping to enter the health field. Ed is a great professor, always comes to his office hours, holds study reviews, returns emails and will find time for one student (out of 600) if need be. It's a love hate relationship, I hate him because his brain seems to concept the digestive, nervous, muscle, lymph system in a way I will never understand. I hate him because his tests are HARD, incorporating 3 different systems and being able to know the outcome. I hate him because he is such a damn good professor and believes in us so much that I feel even worse when I get a bad grade on an exam, because I don't want him to be disappointed. I hate that he recognizes the students to work hard and even when its one in 600 and I hate him because of the pain I put myself through to pass his exams.
I plop myself next to Katy and Amy who have been there with me through the torture of A&P, nutrition, human development, stats, biology and many more. After class we hit up happy hour at the university bar, review our midterms, trade correct answers and then talk about anything other then school. 5pm I head back to the library, and stay until close, midnight. And that’s just a normal week as a biology major.
Finals are so painful, I barely can type it. I almost always overdose on caffeine, get close to no sleep and have an anxiety attack. Luckily I’m not out of place, every corner of the library is packed, trash cans are overflowing with coffee cups and everyone looks like death. Oh the aspiring youth of tomorrow, how we will someday graduate and maybe make descent money.
I made an appointment with my advising counsellor months ago, the nursing advisors are always busy. Michelle basically tells me the same thing every time I go to sort out which schools would be best to apply to, “Well Claire, your community involvement is incredible, so that will be a big plus to school who put emphasise on that area. As for your grade, well they are good, but just not as good as they need to be, to be competitive. I see you have a cumulative of a 3.2 GPA in your science courses, the C you received in human development and chemistry isn’t favourable on your application, have you considered taking those courses over?” yes I have. “Well I would definitely consider that, I think it’s good you are planning to apply outside of the NW, as you know Oregon and Washington have some of the best medical facilities in the nation. Have you considered another field you may be interested in? Physical therapy or Health education? You have the grades for that field and I would be more then happy to make an appointment with the advisor for that field.” No I want to be a nurse, not a PT or anything else, a nurse. “I see. Well consider retaking some classes and we will see where you stand after winter term”.
Pretty discouraging, but I have gotten use to Michelle basically telling me I will never make it. Still I work hard only to get B’s, what ever happened to working your hardest and that was enough? Katy tells me that she has a friend with a 4.0 (perfect grades) and was rejected from Oregon Health and Sciences University, two years in a row. Granted OHSU is in the top three best nursing school in America, but how can you do better then a 4.0? I kill myself over my classes, not to mention jazz up my resume as much as possible. I’ve been camp counselor for three summers, been on a medical mission, volunteered at the children’s hospital, been a part of two student groups at PSU including a high position in student government. I’ve fed the homeless, registered people to vote, raised money for Darfur and have made my school sustainable.
I’m someone who cares about people and doesn’t mind losing sleep to read about connective tissue or give up a Saturday to write a paper on development disorders. I just want to be a nurse, and I’ll be damn good at it. My patients aren’t going to care I got a C in Human development in 2007, or that I failed an A&P midterm. They are going to care that I know my shit and show empathy and understanding.
I came to Australia for a few reasons, one of them being I needed a break from school and how unhealthy it has been for me. I planned to be back in Oregon by January so I could finish the two classes I needed before I was eligible for nursing school for September 2010. When I learned that the requirement for Deakin University were a bit lower then the states, I applied, also that the price is close to the same for out of state tuition. Not to mention I wouldn’t have to take micro biology and another term of A&P, or retake the two classes I was going to re-take and I could start in March, not September. Although were grades were more then acceptable for Deakin it still seemed to good to be true.
Well I have been accepted to Deakin in a Bachelors of Nursing. It’s extremely overwhelming. I’m feeling so many different emotions (mostly good). It’s surreal that all those hours I the library, all those lost hours of sleep and four years in total of working hard in hopes of someday achieving my goal, is actually here. It’s real, it’s happening, and no one can take it away. Nothing means more to me then fulfilling my ultimate goal of becoming a nurse, and being accepted into nursing school is the hardest part. I knew I wouldn’t be able to go to nursing school near home in Oregon or Washington, I just wasn’t expecting that place to be a different country. The degree transfers to the states no problem, after a few tests and Deakin is highly recognized in the States. Wow. Just wow.
I would be lying if I said I wasn’t scared. I won’t be seeing my family for more then a few months out of the year. I’ll be leaving a lot of really good friends behind. My love for the mountains, snow and snowboarding will be greatly tested. I’ll be turning my back on a city that’s owns my heart along with the mountain that reside with it. But all for my number one goal in life, and I can’t complain to much about doing that in Australia. And yet.. another new chapter begins….


We all amde it! [Amy Katy and I]

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