I should be studying
I should eat breakfast
I should put my clothes away
I should do laundry
I should find a full time job in June
I should find a place with a good land lord
I should apply to another nursing school
I should start planning to pay off student loans
I should eat organic
I should volunteer more
I should write more letters
I should lower my carbon footprint
I should not care about him
I should not care about the non-invite
I should not buy a ticket to Sasquatch
I should not buy spring pass to timberline
I'm tired of the should's and shouldn't. I'm taking a personal morning. Like I said I should be studying.. which I'll do.. eventually. But right now, it's 10:52am on a Sunday and I'm going to blog instead.
You know those dreams where you're trying to touch someone but no matter what you do you can't, sometimes you get within inches of them and still can't feel their skin on yours. Or you're trying to run away, no matter what you do your legs won't move. It's like you suddenly find yourself in tar, straining to move at all. Lastly, when you try to talk and eventually your'e screaming to be heard, but nothing comes out.. silence. You strain your vocal cords and so badly want to communicate but no words are formed.
I hate these. I've had them before. It's always when I'm in a place where I feel like there's nothing I can do to fix what the problem is. I can't talk it out. I can't run away from it. I can't even touch it to fully understand it. I'm not a patient person, but of course, life tends to test our weaknesses. Time is the only answer thus far, wait it out. My relationship with time is strange. I take note of dates, how I felt and where I was at that point in time. I always think, a year ago today I was... and think what I loved about it and what I would do differently. I compare and contrast the past me and the now me. You could say I ponder time often and therefore time makes itself known. Apparently this tends to leave me complaining on a Sunday morning for approximately 26 minutes.
It's now 11:18am and I think I'm ready to conquer some of the should's.
I totally do that time thing. For some reason, I always seem to recall back to times that make me nostalgic to the past. SO I tried to stop doing that.
ReplyDelete..been working on law school apps and made me think of you. Hope nursing apps are going well. Because if they're anything like law apps you probably want to throw your left brain lobe under a bus tire, as well.
Hi Claire
ReplyDeleteYou won’t remember me as you were only three yo when I met you, my name is David; I live in France and, actually, I spent a month in a homestay in your family 20 years ago in Long Beach
Although we didn’t stay in touch, I never forget your family, the welcoming and great time I had; I often wondered how you all were doing.
In 2001 I spent a month in LA, and went back in long beach at your house but I was not surprised to see that you had moved…
Few days ago, with now facebook (even though I’m not in it) and all, I thought that maybe I could find some news about you. I tried Travis and Stacey in google but nothing, and then you, as I realized suddenly that something like 20 years ago had passed (OMG)and you would be a woman now… so then I found your blog and was really moved to discover that you became a really smart girl!
So now, I just wanted you to give my regards to your family - I’d be really glad to have some news- and to tell that everyone of you are welcome if you ever come in Paris one day…
Here’s my email: davonthewave@me.com if you’d like to answer me and or pass me travis’s an stacey’s emails…
See ya
volunteer more! canines and kittens!
ReplyDelete